Too much has been going on, but I guess I’m still coping. I guess God always has a way for me to muddle through my matters in life. It’s been an awful year for me so far, perhaps considerably the worst in my 24 years. I’ve settled in a permanent job after half a year of endless struggle (yes, Farah, kakak-kakak full time, I am.) Heh.

I battled my worst heartbreak (I am,still), issues with friends and my family, and the frustration of being unemployed. Somehow, in the course of the madness, it brings a lot of hidden things to light.

For one, I realized that my mother is the most compassionate person I know, and my love for her, although boundless as it already is, grew even more. I never figured that she really would even try to understand my conditions, but to eventually help me out and trying to love what I love is overwhelming.

I also learnt how to truly be myself, and trust myself enough to pursue things. To actually live. I don’t wake up with the threat of going through my day lying to myself and others just to keep the storm away.

Friends. This has been rather confusing (and painful). I shall not elaborate on the ugly. Somehow, Farah and Shahreil have performed almost miracles to my spirit. My late nights I spent crying all over the keyboard were always made easier by them. Fuck therapists. These two are my virtual healers.

I do not wish to go through a phase like this ever.